Battling personal projects
Jan. 18th, 2011 10:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
quarridorsI've managed to pair down everything in my previous list of personal projects I want to work on down to making Bridging The Rift into a monthly audio zine about Doctor Who Universe fandom and creating an androgyne/genderqueer resource (which seems to oscillate between being a website and a comic or possibly an illustrated website or a website with a comic). But I don't feel like I'm managing to work effectively on either.
Moving work around my sleep patterns seems to have helped with tiredness at work, but means I still effectively finish work at 7:30 or 8pm. Yesterday I worked on the podcast in the late evening and as a result gave myself insomnia with my mind racing about the podcast, after an hour of failing to sleep, my mind was racing about the gender comic and lo and behold, today I've been highly inspired by the gender project which was distracting me from work this afternoon (after sleeping through my alarm by 2 hours - argh!). Come the evening I felt obliged to continue with the podcast preparation but inspired by the gender project and the end result is I've just procrastinated both and felt guilty.
I'm clearly going to need to try to schedule my spare time effectively - but also keep it away from bed time so it doesn't trigger insomnia. I think I may be adding unnecessary stress by trying to aim for a regular monthly schedule for the podcast (or at least for the first issue of the audio podcast to come out before the end of this month).
I really love Doctor Who fandom and want to celebrate its culture, activities and creative pursuits, I really believe in the idea of doing an audio zine about this. BUT I really want to write and draw comics, that's a seriously long term aim, and I'm aware I've been too scared to take the risk and fail even though I've been developing my art skills. I also feel like writing about gender is something I've wanted to do for a decade, something that's truly important, something that could help people who're struggling with the same things I was in my youth. It's hard to choose talking about how great Doctor Who fandom is when I could be really helping people. I want to do both but it's clear which one should win if I don't have the energy to do both of them and work full time.
I maybe need to prioritise the gender project and then only work on the podcast when I feel inspired to - the problem then is that being the editor of an audio zine is inherently an organisational role where I'm creating a commitment and shouldn't let other people down. More so if there's a regular release schedule. How do other people get so much done?!
Oh and let's not mention how I'm feeling guilty about neglecting the Second Life creative project that I made such a big deal about when very inspired 8 months ago, but which doesn't inspire me at all now, other than as an idea I'd love to see realised by someone else.
How do other people have jobs, kids and relationships and still seem to get so much done?!
I should also stop procrastinating actually starting the gender project by angsting on LiveJournal about the creative process and difficulty choosing between projects, but I really felt like I had to verbalise this somehow.
Moving work around my sleep patterns seems to have helped with tiredness at work, but means I still effectively finish work at 7:30 or 8pm. Yesterday I worked on the podcast in the late evening and as a result gave myself insomnia with my mind racing about the podcast, after an hour of failing to sleep, my mind was racing about the gender comic and lo and behold, today I've been highly inspired by the gender project which was distracting me from work this afternoon (after sleeping through my alarm by 2 hours - argh!). Come the evening I felt obliged to continue with the podcast preparation but inspired by the gender project and the end result is I've just procrastinated both and felt guilty.
I'm clearly going to need to try to schedule my spare time effectively - but also keep it away from bed time so it doesn't trigger insomnia. I think I may be adding unnecessary stress by trying to aim for a regular monthly schedule for the podcast (or at least for the first issue of the audio podcast to come out before the end of this month).
I really love Doctor Who fandom and want to celebrate its culture, activities and creative pursuits, I really believe in the idea of doing an audio zine about this. BUT I really want to write and draw comics, that's a seriously long term aim, and I'm aware I've been too scared to take the risk and fail even though I've been developing my art skills. I also feel like writing about gender is something I've wanted to do for a decade, something that's truly important, something that could help people who're struggling with the same things I was in my youth. It's hard to choose talking about how great Doctor Who fandom is when I could be really helping people. I want to do both but it's clear which one should win if I don't have the energy to do both of them and work full time.
I maybe need to prioritise the gender project and then only work on the podcast when I feel inspired to - the problem then is that being the editor of an audio zine is inherently an organisational role where I'm creating a commitment and shouldn't let other people down. More so if there's a regular release schedule. How do other people get so much done?!
Oh and let's not mention how I'm feeling guilty about neglecting the Second Life creative project that I made such a big deal about when very inspired 8 months ago, but which doesn't inspire me at all now, other than as an idea I'd love to see realised by someone else.
How do other people have jobs, kids and relationships and still seem to get so much done?!
I should also stop procrastinating actually starting the gender project by angsting on LiveJournal about the creative process and difficulty choosing between projects, but I really felt like I had to verbalise this somehow.
